real forgiveness

I wrote yesterday about seeking forgiveness for something someone else did. Empathy, sympathy, and compassion are all possible responses when someone is wronged by someone else, just not forgiveness.

The same goes for an apology. I cannot apologize for what people did in the name of Jesus back in the Crusades or whatever. I can dialogue about the situation, delve into the evidence of what happened, say how unfortunate it is when people misuse God’s name for injustice when injustice occurs, but I can’t apologize.

A similar situation is hurting someone’s feelings. If I have purposely offended someone then I need to seek their forgiveness. If someone took offense at something I said or did that brought about hurt that I did not bring about but was a result of their perception, I can say, “I am sorry that they felt that way.”

Feelings are a strange phenomena. It is logically impossible to hurt someone’s feelings if they don’t allow their feelings to be hurt. You can become the kind of person that doesn’t take offense, even if the offense is purposeful. In the meantime, a disciple graciously and freely seeks to reconcile with someone whom they have wronged unintentionally. It is no big deal to say “I am sorry this happened in our relationship.”

Seeking forgiveness for something that was not sinful is a contradiction in category. One seeks to be as clear as possible in interactions with others. It cheapens forgiveness to ask for it from someone who has not been sinned against. At the same time, it is important to search deep into your own will to see if there is any intention to wrong lurking in some dark corner there.