Hadrian's wall

Back from a trip with my wife to Maui. It was another no phone- no computer vacation, but I am back to blogging now! It was a wonderful time just enjoying the tropics with my love. We did check in with the kids on a regular basis. A friend of ours stayed with them at night and Kristina was overseer (not always successful) of David and Gregory.

There is a sense of security having the cell phone gives with reception all over the island. The challenge is settling arguments the kids are having by saying, "Your in trouble if you do ______", all the while looking at the moon over the water with the lapping waves and warm breeze. I haven't reconciled a getaway without our children as a clean getaway. Even though they are teens and I talked to them about every day, I still missed them.

And it brings to focus again how much teens need their parents to touch base. We are cheerleaders, listeners, advice givers, but in the case of absentee parents vacationing on their own, we are referees. Somehow the sense of justice and parental judges are mixed together. You can have wide boundaries but you are keepers of the boudaries.

I read recently that Hadrian's wall in Great Britian between Scotland and England was set up in 122 AD to keep the Scots out of England. The Romans had conquered everyone else but they couldn't quite get the northern Scots to surrender. So, they figured it was easier to build a wall and keep them out.

Would that work with our kids? Set up a sound proof, padded wall room and strip them of all weapons and lock them up? Kind of like Hadrian's room? Can't conquer them and so we just isolate them from the rest of us?

I don't think it will work. You have to figure out ways to let siblings work some things out on their own without parental intervention, testing out what they will have to do for the rest of their lives in their own families, in the workplace, and so on.

In the meantime, if I hear one more argument...just don't leave a battle axe or a mace laying around the house!