last blog of year

This is the last blog of 2006. Looking to the New Year, a resolution I have already decided on is to make progress in prayer, both as an individual and for our church community. This year will be a "Year of Prayer" for the church.

To aid in our prayer focus together, I have taken 150 verses on prayer from the Bible, Genesis to Revelation, chosen from The Renovare Spiritual Formation Bible. Each weekday, we will have one verse of scripture to consider, a brief thought for the day, and a practical prayer application. This will prove beneficial as we consider our partnership with Jesus and how we are doing together.

Happy New Year!

P.S. I would be remiss if I didn't give a shout out to my favorite young woman in the world, Kristina, who just celebrated her 18th birthday. 18, but still my "baby girl."

I love you,
Dad

day 74- change me from the inside

We have spent the last 3 1⁄2 months examining a vision of what it can mean to be live a transformed life. As we have the intention to make our renovation a reality, we have been given the means to follow through.

Dallas Willard has connected us to God’s path of transformation as recorded in the Bible. Neither the author or God himself can force us to take that path. We will not see transformation without it.

If you have been following the progression of change of the five parts of who you are, you are well on your way. If you haven’t begun yet, you are invited to return to September 15 in this blog and begin again.

God’s desire for you since before the beginning of time is that you would come to him in complete transparency and say, as in the song,

Change Me On The Inside

Just like King David I cry out to You
Create in me a clean heart
I've grieved You again I need Your release
From patterns that keep me in sin
But there's only one way I can finally break free

Change me on the inside…

CCLI Song No. 2956367
© 2000 Vineyard Songs Canada (Admin. by Music Services)
Brian Doerksen

day 73- the means to transform my soul 4

The final means to transformation of my soul is becoming a person of the Book.

Receive, Study, and Internalize the Law of God to the Point of Obedience

This is the essence of the transformed life. Where God's Word is taken in to your very soul and becomes a way of life. It is not as if the Bible is one of many sources for all that is necessary to lead a healthy and complete existence fully immersed in the reality of God's Kingdom. It always fascinates me when even the most conscientious person seeks other paths rather than the Bible as a source for living.

You will find that any truth out there that actually works has its source in the Bible. For example, the recovery movements like AA are based on biblical principles. Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey, biblical principles. The business books by Ken Blanchard and John Maxwell. Yes, even Dr. Phil!

I am not saying that all of these and other resources are 100% pure Bible, I am just saying that they have actually proven helpful in the long term. The only reason people make progress as a result of these writings is when the biblical principles are actually tried. That's the key.

Go to the Bible itself and actually try to follow one of its teachings. Dallas likes to say if you intentionally and honestly follow any one teaching, then Jesus will draw you to all that is necessary for you to come to confident faith in Jesus and begin to learn to have the faith of Jesus. Start anywhere. One teaching.

Have you actually tried to live one teaching? Have you actually incorporated this into your life? Until a conscious, obedient effort is made to let Jesus guide you in a specific arena of your life it doesn't make sense to say, "I can't," or "It won't work for me," or "I have already tried that." Really? Have you really been saturated by the way of Jesus?

One place to start pondering this process of soul transformation is to live in Psalm 119 for awhile. See the respect and integrity the Psalmist has for God's law as lifegiving, not a hard set of rules to condemn us to a life of misery. Spend some time there and see what comes to mind.

Read Psalm 119 to start and end this day.

Please note:
Two new sermons are available at ITunes, "Christcast."

day 72- the means to transform my soul 3

One of Dallas Willard’s key teachings is we are not in charge of outcomes. We partner with Jesus, arranging and rearranging our lives to learn from him and work with him any way possible, but leaving outcomes in his hands.

This is such a freeing way of looking at life. Like the biblical parables of farming, we plant and wait. We can’t manipulate the seed to try to tell it “You need to yield lots of grain!” We simply follow the faithful work Jesus is working through us and watch.

This takes a large dose of humility.

1 Peter 5:5-7 (NLT)
You younger men, accept the authority of the elders. And all of you, serve each other in humility, for

"God sets himself against the proud,
but he shows favor to the humble."

[6] So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and in his good time he will honor you. [7] Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about what happens to you.

Dallas tells of some of pastors who dread doing hospital visits. The reason? They pray with the patients, but rarely do they see a “healing.” Dallas always tells them, “You are not in charge of the outcomes.”

God is not doing great things in the world to make it possible for us to receive accolades. It’s not as if he is saying,

“This morning I am going to make sure that everyone knows how wonderful Dana is. I want all eyes on him. Let’s see, what can I do to make him look better?”

It is enough to know God has me in mind at all. Yet, it is more than that. I know he does think I am precious, regardless of what others think. I know I am the “apple of his eye,” in spite of my unworthiness. His confidence in me makes me want to give my life to him. Sinful as I am, it is in bits and pieces, but I am moving in his direction, yoked to Jesus.

Spend time today thinking about humility and how its relationship to Jesus coming into our world as a human to bring our transformation.

day 71- the means to transform my soul 2

The second means to transform my soul is yoke myself to Christ.

Yoke Yourself to Christ

Matthew 11:28-30 (NLT)
Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. [29] Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls. [30] For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light."

A yoke is a wooden harness that is used in agriculture to put two oxen together so they can work together pulling a load or plowing a field. The system works best when you take an experienced older ox and yoke him to an inexperienced younger. The younger ox learns to follow the lead of the older and the older teaches to share the load. After a while, the oxen work together as one.

Jesus invites me to yoke to him. In this way he can teach me to live my life as he would live it if he were me and he actually guides me as I am yoked to his lead. I am no longer working on my strength, but his; my direction, but his. In this way I am able to succeed in the way he desires for me in every area of transformation.

What is an area of your life you would like to make progress in?

day 70- the means to transform my soul 1

What are the means I can use to renovate my soul?

Acknowledge Your Soul and Place It under God

There is so little teaching done on the soul that there is a lot of confusion as to what it is. If I am to make any headway in transformation and the soul is at the center of organizing all the parts of who I am, then I need to spend time thinking of the soul.

The primary place I must change my thinking is in realizing I am not contained in my body. I am not only a physical being. I am a spiritual being who has a body.

We get so enamored by all things scientific that we miss out on the most important part of reality. That which is not measured by instruments. That which will last for eternity. The soul needs proper care just as the body. Our soul lasts forever. It is not some ghost that leaves our body and floats around after we die. The soul is a non-physical entity that isn’t limited to our body’s boundaries now.

Caring for the soul through spiritual disciplines makes it possible to bring refreshment to our existence. There are so many ways our souls are damaged over the years. Abuse, betrayal, abandonment, and other ways that chip away at who we are. We need God to “renew” us. We need to give ourselves over to his care.

Where have you been wounded to the soul?

day 69- the vision for transforming my soul 4

If I choose to live by my own desires, my life is headed for ruin. No one will tell me this. This is called my modus operundi; my mode of operation. In computer language, my default mode. If I am young and single, I will naturally follow this path without much thought any other way. If I am married, I begin to see that my way isn’t always the way it is. If we have children, this is even more evident. When I learn that I am not in charge of my life, it is a good start.

It isn’t a shock that “married with children” brings about greater physical and emotional health. Without living a deliberate path of self-denial and moving toward God transformation, from human terms, this is the best chance we get. It is not enough.

Married or single, parent or not, to live intentionally, focusing on renovation of all the parts of who we are is the means to long term health, and through Jesus, eternal significance. We don’t have to wait to get married and have kids to begin this process. It can start any day at any time in our lives. The soul is at the center of the whole endeavor.

It is a soul process. We have looked at how to join Jesus in transforming our hearts, minds, bodies, and social relations. The soul integrates all of these and makes our life “our life.” For the first time, we can actually live life the way we are designed. It may be a stretch, but compare the soul to Michael Jordan.

The Bulls had Michael Jordan for a couple of years before they started winning championships. They didn’t become the world famous Chicago Bulls until Michael learned to involve the other four players and integrate them fully in the game. When all five were working together toward the common purpose of getting another “ring” things clicked. Michael functioned like our soul, making sure everyone was involved and contributing in a healthy way. Even Luc Longley!

Think of other examples about how all parts need to work together well in order for real progress to be made.

day 68- the vision for transforming my soul 3

God is in charge. He is the source of transformation and he doesn’t hide this from us. The Bible is the way God gives us the plan for soul renovation. This begins and ends with the fact that we don’t trust in our own wisdom. Why would we?

Either the Bible is the Word of God for us or it isn’t. If it isn’t, then we are left with our own understanding or the thinking of those who don’t know God’s Word. This is one option. We purposefully choose to go our own way. From what we know of the human condition, this is risky business. Without intentionally thinking outside of ourselves, we will do wrong, eventually.

No matter how brilliant the thinking may be, if the philosophy or teaching available is not filtered through the Scripture, it can’t be trusted. It may be identical; Jesus is the source of all truth. We can expect to find good, solid teaching in other religions and worldviews. The problem is with the teaching that veers away from the truth. It is not the Bible and __________.

Yes, God even gives us a conscience to guide us outside of the Bible, but we can ignore it easily. Human history is filled with the disasters of people doing what they know is wrong, and at best convincing themselves that it is not wrong after all, and at worst, relishing the evil behavior. For those who trust God’s Word, neither is an option.

The transformation of the soul occurs through those who love the Word, read it in a careful, straightforward manner, and live it day to day. This is not usually a huge leap in life change, but rather a slow, quiet exposure to the Word of life.

Read Luke 1-3 today

day 67- the vision to transform my soul 2

Are we in soul denial?

As the organizer, the soul needs to function well in order for the rest of the parts of who I am to work well. When I am using my whole self in any endeavor of life, a healthy soul is absolutely essential. What are these areas?

Renovation of the Heart lists these examples:

Creativity, sleep, sex, parenting, relationships, health and meaningful work. In our time, many of our most “brilliant” thinkers have dismissed the concept of the soul and its importance in integrating our lives in healthy ways. So, how’s it going?

Look at each of the aspects of human life and you tell me. One example is sleep. According to Archibald Hart, in The Anxiety Cure, half of all adult Americans suffer from some form of insomnia. Without a good night’s sleep, everything else is affected.

Or take sex. Is it is a private, intimate bonding experience for husbands and wives where “two become one,” on occasion bringing about new life for the next generation? Is that the purpose of sexual relations as designed by God? If so, how are we doing?

Marriage, parenting, work, friendships, love of neighbor---- how are we doing???

If the scholars who say we are simply “particles and progress” are correct, then what is their answer? Even if you deny the soul, you still have to get up in the morning and live life. I say, good luck scientific materialists (those who say the physical is all there is), but I am going with the evidence there is more to it than this.

I believe meaning and purpose are essential ingredients of a healthy life. Scientific materialism has no delivery system for this. In fact, it would be more accurate to say that soul ruin is just around the corner for those stuck on the “life is only about me” motif.

Fortunately, we are not buying into the despair of hopelessness and meaninglessness that has been such a staple of intelligentsia (actually, with enough gentle prodding, you will find they don’t believe it either) for the last several decades. We need to get to the soul of the matter, and more and more people are willing to look for more and more.

“Consciousness” is an example of something most people would say exists but they can’t “see.” What are some other things that are accepted as fact that don’t have a physical source?

day 66- the vision to transform my soul 1

When we think of soul, there are three main ways people think of it. I would argue none of these is correct.

The first way is just a vague sense of a characteristic or property of a person that you have or you don’t.

“He’s got soul.”

The second way people think of soul is an immaterial entity that is contained within them.

“I love you down to my very soul.”

The third way people think about soul is to say it doesn’t exist. There is no such thing. We are completely physical in all we are and any other sense of who we are comes from electrical impulses in our circuitry and chemical reactions.

“It’s just how we are wired.”

Dallas Willard offers a fourth view. Your soul is beyond our body. It contains your body, but it is much bigger than that. Your soul is the organizing force that holds together heart, the mind’s thoughts and feelings, the body, and our relationships. The soul is the CEO of who we are.

Dallas further speaks of our soul being as being given to us by God at conception and through it creates and organizes our DNA and all the life that follows.

This may all seem strange to you, but if it is true, if our souls are real and organizing our parts together, then we are missing out on the key knowledge of who we really are, because "the soul" is certainly is not a standard course of study in high school or the university, indeed in churches or everyday conversation.

What have been taught concerning the soul?

day 65- my soul

We are looking at the main elements of who we are, based on the book, Renovation of the Heart, by Dallas Willard. We are not specific isolated ingredients, but we are united and enmeshed into one unique human being. Our soul is the glue that holds our heart, mind, body, and social life together. The soul coordinates our lives and manages the interaction of the other parts of who we are.

I live my life through my soul. I am hardly conscious of its work. The soul is not physical, but it is real. It is hard to understand the awesome nature of my soul, and of the five parts of who I am, it is the most involved. The soul responds to all aspects of my life.

God desires to transform my soul. It is not holy and pure on its own, but needs renovating like all the other parts of who I am. If I want to be like Jesus, I need to be changed from the very depths of who I am.

Next week we will look at the vision to transform my soul. This is the most challenging aspect of who I am to explain, but it is essential we understand. We have to have the “big picture” view of everything else.

What do you think of when you hear the word, “soul?”

day 64- the means to transform my social life 4

The fourth means to transform my social life is to “pay it forward.” A film of that name, starring Haley Joel Osment, Helen Hunt, Kevin Spacey, and Jesus (well actually James Caviezel, “Jesus” of The Passion of the Christ and, therefore, I keep seeing him as Jesus), shows what might happen if you reach out for the sake of another.

The idea is to do something “big” for someone else, and then tell them they have to do something “big” for three other people who do it for three other people, and so on. In other words, you can’t pay them back, you have to pay it forward. Critics didn’t buy it. Here is Roger Ebert had to say.

That's the theory behind "Pay It Forward," a movie that might have been more entertaining if it didn't believe it. It's a seductive theory, but in the real world, altruism is less powerful than selfishness, greed, nepotism, xenophobia, tribalism and paranoia. If you doubt me, take another look at the front pages.

Well, Jesus would certainly beg to differ. It isn’t that willing the good of your neighbor and taking action on it, “love thy neighbor,” can’t be done, it is more that we just don’t try it enough. We don’t realize where the chain of good begins. Jesus tells us.

John 15:9-12 (NLT)
"I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. [10] When you obey me, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father and remain in his love. [11] I have told you this so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow! [12] I command you to love each other in the same way that I love you.

The Trinitarian love Jesus experiences, is given to me, and I pay it forward to someone else, who in turn will be influenced by my action, and they have the opportunity to pay it forward. Apologies to Roger Ebert, but this theory works in the real world. The real world is where God rules, God’s Kingdom, and if all the parties involved are living transformed lives, pay it forward is as natural as selfishness in a world that doesn’t recognize the transforming power of God.

As we reach out in love to someone else, and they are under the same power of the Holy Spirit they will bless us as well as bless others. Can you imagine what it would be like if we all lived in communities where people were transformed disciples of the living God, Jesus? Pay it forward would be no big deal.

Pay it forward today from something someone has done for you recently.

day 63- the means to transform my social life

A third means to transforming my social life is to let genuine love rule.

Romans 12:9-10 (NLT)
Don't just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of the good. [10] Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.

I am not going to put on a fake act when I am with you and have another attitude behind your back. If you are having a challenge in your relationship with someone, it gives you a chance to expand your “love character.” You stretch a little more to become the kind of person who can desire the blessing of someone who doesn’t necessarily desire your blessing back. When I am being transformed I love you like Jesus loves you. I desire you to be blessed and I act. I honor you, meaning I put real value on your well being.

Genuine love builds up rather than tears down. This will even mean I try to catch you at your best. I do not make any attempts to put you on the defensive where you are less likely to respond graciously. There is a phrase used that sums this up.

“Anxiety producing behavior.”

This occurs when I try to make people anxious on purpose to somehow advance my own agenda or gain more attention on my “rightness.” I may exaggerate the negative. The boy who cried, “Wolf,” and Chicken Little, “The sky is falling” are classic cases of this. Genuine love takes the time to know what is necessary to put people at ease, even when dealing with conflict and disagreement.

Count how many times someone (including yourself) uses anxiety producing behavior. If you are running out of examples, just turn on the TV news.

day 62- the means to transform my social life 2

The second means I would like to highlight to transform my social life is to lose the mask. I need to present myself to you as authentically as possible.

As a result of so much attack and withdrawal in my life, I may set up huge walls against being vulnerable to these actions against me. I may put on “masks” to hide who I truly am in order to not provide opportunities to be hurt by you.

I may also wear masks in order to look better and achieve recognition and reward for being someone I am not. This is especially tempting in a church community. I have one mask for my Christian friends and then when I live my day-to-day life I am someone completely different. Classic Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (as seen in Van Helsing, above).

A third mask I may wear is to be influenced by Jesus, but I don’t want to appear too sold out to him and so I try to hide my love for him. I know this seems strange, but I have seen Christians (including in a mirror) who show signs of real growth in their faith who try to look like someone else at school or at work.

All masks must go. This doesn’t mean that I become a dynamo of “telling it like it is.” No “brutal honesty” and such. No baring the effects of my childhood to the guy sitting next to me at McDonalds. This does mean I need to be real with people around me. Who I am in private is who I am in public. I give up using deceit, manipulation and defensiveness in my relationships. My identity comes from God and he makes it possible for me to face the world unmasked at my best, true self.

Think of ways you can live for Jesus authentically without being weird.

day 61- the means to transform my social life 1

As we are transformed in our own lives, we influence our families for the good. As our families are transforming, we influence the community around us. Indeed, there are times in Christian history when transformation becomes so powerful that whole communities are changed.

Take the Welsh Revival, for example. In 1904 there was an intentional spiritual reawakening that swept through Wales. The country itself was literally changed. The taverns were emptied. The courts had days on end when there were no cases to try. Even the small ponies down in the coal mines were affected. They were so used to the curses of their masters, that when miners stopped swearing, the ponies didn’t understand their instructions and didn’t know how to follow the new commands!

The ideal in our circle of sufficiency is we join God in Trinitarian love and through our relationship with him, we in turn love others in our circle. They join God as well and love us back. Our lives are enriched as a result. Together we share that love outside the circle and we impact the wider community.

We are not so naive to expect everyone will give love having received it. This includes those in our circle of influence, as well as out. Yet, we are energized to love as Christ loves knowing that whether it is returned or not is not up to us. To be in his Will is a blessed place.

The first means I use to transform my social life is to “put on Christ.” I receive my identity from Jesus.

Perhaps you are familiar with identity theft. This is where someone steals your credit card numbers and/or social security number and begins to make purchases under your name. Sometimes making large transactions as if they were you! There are safeguards to prevent this crime; to protect my identity.

Yet, in the big picture, my true identity is as I am connected to Jesus. In him I am secure. This makes it possible for me to live a life of self-denial and service toward others. This makes it possible for me to forgive others and be a blessing instead of a curse. This is a new life.

Col. 3:10 (NLT)
In its place you have clothed yourselves with a brand-new nature that is continually being renewed as you learn more and more about Christ, who created this new nature within you.

Today, when you are experiencing any anxiety for whatever reason, think about what it means for your life to be totally immersed in Jesus’ presence.

day 60- the vision to transform my social life 5

The central place for social transformation to have its impact is in families. This is the fertile foundation for all other relationships both for good and evil. Family can be the most common place for attack and withdrawal, but it can also be a place where we learn mutual submission for the sake of the other. Renovation of the heart is a long view process that begins and continues with those closest to us.

Marriage is a place where we are designed to be at our most intimate and our most vulnerable. Husbands and wives are literally created to complement (making complete) each other, not just compliment each other. Here is what I mean.

Genesis 2:18 (NLT)
And the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him."

The word for "companion" is often translated "helper" in other versions of the Bible. Neither of these words does complete justice to the meaning of the original language. The Hebrew word being translated means literally, "one who is over and against," "one who sees things from a different perspective." Husbands and wives are created to see things differently! Marriage becomes a place where giving of ourselves for the sake of the other is constantly tested.

When they have children, parents then become the model for renovation or attack and withdrawal. The very best and the very worst models of what it means to live in community start right here. You can't be transformed in your relationships outside of your family without the foundation within.

Here is the challenge. A family is made up of individuals who are naturally moving toward self-worship. Society caters to this narcissistic focus of "what's in it for me." When relationships are fractured in the family, so much is at stake. Alienation and contempt may become common place. Divorce may seem the only way out for marriages. Parents and children may look upon each other as enemies. There is another way.

You can invite the community of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit to join with you. You can begin to live in God's ways and declare a "no attack and no withdraw" zone as it relates to you. No matter what your family relationships are, you can be the new generation who will birth a new community of love in years to come.

Pray throughout the day for your immediate family and your relationships together.

new podcasts

New podcasts now available at ITunes, "Christcast."

Jesus and the Temple
recent sermon on the relationship between Jesus and the Temple of Jerusalem and what this has to do with God's plans

inside out 12
recent workshop on making progress in the area of self control of body and social relationships

day 59- the vision to transform my social life 4

The healing of our circle of relationships is connection to God. God is a healthy community in God’s self. We know God as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. The Trinity is the model of healthy, loving social relationships.

Within the Trinity, there is no attempt to control or seek one’s own way. Dallas Willard says there is no subordination within the Trinitarian community because “Father, Son and Holy Spirit won’t stand for it.” The Trinity shows us we are created live in community. “Created in God’s image” (Genesis 1:26-27) we are at our best when we join God in this community of love.

Then we can be free from the positioning and intrigue of making a place for ourselves in our relationships. The legend of King Arthur and his Round Table is a good illustration of this. The story goes Arthur wanted his knights to consider themselves as no better than the other. He as King saw himself in this same light. In order to symbolize this community of deferring to the other, he had a round table built for them so there would never be anyone at the head of the table when they came together.

The key to living transformed lives in community with others is not a mystery. The difficulty is not in the understanding, but in the follow through. If we wish to have a life filled with richness in our relationships rather than hurt and betrayal, there is one way to live.

Philippians. 2:3-5 (NLT)
Don't be selfish; don't live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. [4] Don't think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing.

[5] Your attitude should be the same that Christ Jesus had.

As we are transformed by God to become the kind of people God can work through, we take on the mind of Christ. We begin to think as he thinks. Our actions, then, reflect his influence. We live in our circle of relationships as Jesus lives in the circle of the Trinity. We bring Jesus with us to our own Round Table because he is in us and we are in him.

1 John 4:15-16 (NLT)
All who proclaim that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God. [16] We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in him.
God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.

Throughout the day, ponder of the mystery and awesome love of the Trinity for you and for each other.

day 58- transforming my social life 3

There are two actions that wreck social relationships more than any other. Attack and withdrawal. “Attack” is to verbally and/or physically be aggressive toward someone with the intent of using this as a means to get our own way or to at least punish them. “Withdrawal” is to ignore someone, act as if we don't care at all, moving all the way to holding them in contempt, as if they don't even exist in our mind at all. Another means to try to control or punish.

We use attack and withdrawal so much, we think they are as normal as breathing and we couldn't think of life without them. We will not have a transformed life with them. If we are to live in our circle of life with actions for the good we need to eliminate attack and withdrawal. If we desire to expand our circle we need to get rid of attack and withdrawal from our own lives. Let's be clear on what is at stake.

Attack is when we act against the good of other people. We are doing what we can to make sure they don't prosper for the moment, or longer. Attack may be launched for the right reasons, as in the case of trying to correct unhealthy behavior in someone else, but it is the wrong method. Screaming at your children because they aren't doing their homework comes to mind. Attack is certainly addressed by God in the Bible. The Ten Commandments from "Honor your father and mother" on are about our relationships and they all address attack in some way.

Withdrawal is working for the same reason, against the good of someone else, but with a different method. We ignore someone, regarding their good as unimportant, even to the point of despising them. We treat them as persona non gratis.

Do these two things to see examples of both:

Attack- Watch congress on CSPAN for 2 minutes.

Withdrawal- Watch the relationship between teenagers and their parents on just about any TV show or in any movie.

day 57- transforming my social life 2

Unbutu- “A person is a person through other persons.”
-Bishop Desmond Tutu

Unbutu is a Swahili word that draws our attention to the fact that we are dependent on each other. In Renovation of the Heart (Student Edition), the concept of a circle is used to illustrate this.

Who is in your circle? Draw a big circle and place in it the names of the people in your life. This circle tells you something about your social relationships. Are there many people or few? If there are many, who are you in close relationship with? Many psychologists think you can really be in a close, intimate relationship with very few people, perhaps only one other. Do you have any of these “soul mates” in your circle? If there are only a few people in your circle to begin with, is this because you are kind of a private person or do you withdraw from others? There are a lot of things to consider, aren’t there?

When we look at our circle, realize God desires good to come out of it. As we are connected in healthy ways, this will happen. The challenge is, of course, we are all sinners. If you have been following these posts, you realize how broken our circles really are. “Broken” is not even a strong enough word. Our circles are headed toward “ruin.” What is the process for healing?

In order for our circles to be life giving, we need to be connected to each other in healthy ways. This is no easy connection. If we follow our own human nature, we continue to repel each other in our circles. We are the only occupants who really count. Self-worship within the circle of our lives brings about two actions that we use to destroy our relationships. Attack and withdrawal.

Do the circle exercise.

day 56- transforming my social life 1

The transformation, up to this point, has been about you and me personally. Heart, mind, and body.

Heart- our will; the choices we make
Mind- thoughts and feelings
Body- our physical presence through which we live out our lives

But…
“It is not good that the man should be alone…” (Genesis 2:18)

We are created in community. It is how we are wired. God intends for us to be in relationship with him and other people. The idea that we are to “go it alone,” or “stick to ourselves” is not a biblical concept. The Bible is filled with descriptions of living in community.

We are created to live with other people. Here lies a huge challenge. I am a sinful person and it is absolutely necessary that I am in relationship with others, who are sinful people. It doesn’t take too long for us to realize this is going to be a mess.

Adam and Eve start arguing right away. “What did God say?” Then, when they sin by doing what God forbids, Adam blames Eve. When the children are born it doesn’t get any easier. Eventually Cain kills his brother Abel.

And so it goes.

Living with others is absolutely essential for our spiritual, physical, and emotional well being.

Living with others is absolutely harmful for our spiritual, physical, and emotional well being.

What is the answer? Coca Cola’s had a recent ad campaign that said we can just “chill” together. That’s not the answer. We can’t just get along. We have to become the kind of people who can chill. We can’t live in healthy community with each other unless Jesus is on the throne of our lives. My self-worship and your self-worship are always going to result in disconnect at some point.

Are there ways our society attempts to “force” people to get along? How?