the means to transform my social life 3

A third means to transforming my social life is to let genuine love rule.

Romans 12:9-10 (NLT)  
    Don't just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of the good. [10] Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.

I am not going to put on a fake act when I am with you and have another attitude behind your back. If you are having a challenge in your relationship with someone, it gives you a chance to expand your “love character.” You stretch a little more to become the kind of person who can desire the blessing of someone who doesn’t necessarily desire your blessing back. When I am being transformed I love you like Jesus loves you. I desire you to be blessed and I act. I honor you, meaning I put real value on your well being.

Genuine love builds up rather than tears down. This will even mean I try to catch you at your best. I do not make any attempts to put you on the defensive where you are less likely to respond graciously. There is a phrase used that sums this up.

“Anxiety producing behavior.”

This occurs when I try to make people anxious on purpose to somehow advance my own agenda or gain more attention on my “rightness.”  I may exaggerate the negative. The boy who cried, “Wolf,” and Chicken Little, “The sky is falling” are classic cases of this. Genuine love takes the time to know what is necessary to put people at ease, even when dealing with conflict and disagreement.