no offense

Col. 3:13 (NLT)
You must make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

If we are to be a light of the world, (Matthew 5:14-15) then we are going to be spending time in the world. Not just individually, but with fellow Christians. When we are together, we want to model the five attributes of kindness, patience, humility, gentleness, and tenderhearted mercy toward each other. What is the secret ingredient to being able to live these qualities amongst ourselves? Forgiveness and non-offense.

Forgiveness is being gracious. Giving grace. Willing the good of another even if they have wronged you. The way to approach forgiveness according to Paul, is to “make allowance for each other’s faults.” This is an interesting phrase. Literally, “to put up with the other’s faults.”

What this assumes is I have to know you well enough to know what your faults are. We must be in community with each other and not withdraw from one another. So our boundaries are wide. We don’t set up standards of behavior for others that are narrow and rigid. In fact, the more Jesus rules in our lives the less likely it is we will take offense. If you know you are hidden with Christ, how can someone offend you? Not that they can’t say or do something that is offensive, but that you are not required to take offense.

Even when your boundaries of gracious acceptance are wide, forgiveness is still necessary. If someone knows they have said or done something offensive and they seek your forgiveness, you can move to restore your relationship by forgiving for their sake. So they know they are forgiven. There is an art to let another know they are in a restored relationship with you. This mimics the forgiveness God makes available for all.

When I am thinking about this whole forgiveness and offense issue, it strikes me that we need to know each other well enough that we don’t do anything that we know is likely to bring out offensive behavior in them. We don’t set them up for failure, as it were. So, the life of a disciple is not only knowing yourself and your weaknesses, but knowing others and their weaknesses. You avoid putting them in an offensive position in the first place. How? Back to kindness, patience, humility, gentleness, and tenderhearted mercy.

Ahhh. See how this works?