Time: The Critical Investment Every Father Needs to Make: #4-Toddlers: 4.1: Don't Try to Play Make Up

Your son is now at an age when he is mobile and he is curious. This is also the age when you can get him away to explore on your own. “Mom trust” kicks in a bit more, she gives you a “boys” pass, and it is time to let the fun begin! You have prepared for this day since before he was born and now…

Hold on! Time for a little self-inventory:

1. Are you going to try to give your son the focus you did not receive from your own dad?

2. Are you going to try to create a mini-me whose interests directly mimic your own?

3. Do you have dreams of this little bundle of joy being in the NBA, on the PGA, or going to Stanford for a PhD?

4. Do you keep upgrading your video and photo capabilities with new hardware and software, renewing like yesterday's magazine subscriptions?

Stop.

Look.

Listen.

1. Are you going to try to give your son the focus you did not receive from your own dad?

Memory research is showing us that our memories are selective at best. In fact, the latest studies are showing us that we remember more clearly the things we think about the least. The more we play those “tapes” from our past, the more reality and perception clash. You are not your father and your son is not you, neither now, nor when you were a little boy. So relax, take a deep breath and repeat after me:

“My son is a unique child of God. There has never been anyone quite like him, and there will never be anyone quite like him, ever."

 

and, repeat after me:

"I am a unique father for my son. There has never been a father quite like me for him and there will never be a father quite like me for him, ever."

Now, doesn’t that make you feel better? Isn't that good to know? You can imitate the best of what you can remember from your own father/son relationship, imitate solid fathers you have known or know now, and learn from fatherhood resources (like this blog!), which will help along the way.