Are your best days ahead?

God molds us into people who seek the good of others and enjoy this expanding of our graciousness. If we let him in.

Sermon based on the rich man and Lazarus

When are you old? The Dana Hanson Show #15

When are you considering yourself old? How about thinking about it in terms of your mind, body, and spirit? The answers might surprise you...

Overview of Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter

What's going on at Christian worship on Maundy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter? Listen to my take...

There is no retirement in the Bible- Dana Hanson Show #13

The new Pope is 76 years old. This makes me pause and reflect on opportunities of influence and potency as we get older. What does the Bible say about all of this "aging" stuff?

spiritual mercenaries raising your kids?

What is the biblical model of parenting? If you don't beat them they'll grow up to be brats? Send them to Christian School, Sunday School and Youth Groups and that will take care of their faith nurturing?
There's a lot of confusion of what it means to raise your children God's way?
Actually it's very simple to understand...
Dana Hanson Show #11

We are God's Masterpiece

Why don't we let God love us the way He wants to? He's there to meet us on the highway to His way.

Is it wrong to praise our kids? pt. 2- Dana Hanson Show #9

Part 2 of why lavish, overpraise of our children, especially as they get older is actually quite harmful. Not praise itself, but how it is given and received.

Learn why the "self-esteem" movement is not receiving any esteem in the actual followup research.

Is it wrong to praise our kids? pt.3- Dana Hanson Show #10

As our kids get older, overpraising them in a generalized and lavish way actually does much more harm than good. Praise that is specific and truthful; praise that emphasizes effort and perseverance- now, your talking!

We are the net, Jesus is the fisherman- sermon

When Jesus says, "I will make you fishers of men (people)," we know it is Jesus working through us that connects with people. So, what if we are meant to be the net?

Sharing the good news, "Jesus style."

Is it wrong to praise our kids?- Dana Hanson Show #8

According to the latest brain research on how kids learn, the challenge is not if we should praise them(yes!), but how.

Listen in on why telling your kids they're smart might not be too smart.

"Tell me a Jesus story": sharing His story with kids

Listen in as I share the gospel with preschoolers. What do preschool age children know about Jesus? Actually, we decide. It's what we tell them through our lives, our joys, and our play, as we share His story.

Dana Hanson Show w/ Olu Olubunmi and James Coffman pt. 2

I interview Olu Olubunmi (okayhouseunlimited.com), from Nigeria and
James Coffman, from Minneapolis, and we talk about the spread of the gospel in the early church as it relates today. Continue to listen to this fascinating conversation...

Dana Hanson Show w/ Olu Olubunmi and James Coffman pt. 1

I interview Olu Olubunmi (okayhouseunlimited.com), from Nigeria and James Coffman, from Minneapolis, and we talk about the spread of the gospel in the early church as it relates today. Listen in on a fascinating conversation...

Dana Hanson Show w/ Olu Olubunmi and James Coffman pt. 2

I interview Olu Olubunmi (okayhouseunlimited.com), from Nigeria and
James Coffman, from Minneapolis, and we talk about the spread of the gospel in the early church as it relates today. Continue to listen to this fascinating conversation...

Dana Hanson Show w/ Olu Olubunmi and James Coffman pt. 1

I interview Olu Olubunmi (okayhouseunlimited.com), from Nigeria and James Coffman, from Minneapolis, and we talk about the spread of the gospel in the early church as it relates today. Listen in on a fascinating conversation...

What is this season we call "Lent"?

Is Lent outdated for disciples of Jesus? Listen in.

Grandpa in the Stands...

What's it like to watch your grandkids grow up on the hardwood courts? Listen to one grandfather talk about his granddaughters...It's way more than just a game

Everyday Life for a Christian- podcast

The world sees God through you.

The Power of Worship- podcast

At the intersection of heaven and earth

Friends of "Those People"

If you follow Jesus you end up being where he wants to be. Neighborhoods, public schools...How to be the anti-Jonah

The Church On The Move

The Church is not contained in temples and buildings. It is the people of God on the move being the place where God resides to rescue the world.

What does it mean to fight for what is right?

King David is worshipper and warrior and becomes a leader because God's purposes are ultimate.

When God Seems Distant, It's Not Distance

Pray Listen= Prayer
Hannah is a hero!

American Idols: What Gets in God's Way?

There are good things and not so good things that we value more than God. At least we act that way. What are our "Golden Calves"?

Freedom and New Life For You

Again and again, God is the God of rescue and new life. Out of Egypt with God's people...

Growing in Forgiveness, Growing in Power

The events in the life of Joseph provide insight into how God expands our power to do His work.

On Being All In- podcast

Abraham and Sarah left everything behind and moved forward on a promise. You have the same promise. Are you ready to move?

Are men better than women?- podcast

What do the events of the lives of Adam and Eve tell us about ourselves?
What do they tell us about God?

Death of John the Baptist- podcast

What is the death of John the Baptist really all about?

The Key to Happiness? podcast

Do the Danes really have the answer to happiness?

God rids fear from our lives- podcast

Living without fear is God's design for us.

Jesus and Physics...Really? podcast

The "discovery" of the Higgs boson and confirmation of the Higgs field has interesting connections to Jesus. What are they? Let's find out...

In God's Way, Weak is Strong...Why? podcast

When we are at our weakest in human terms, it is clear to everyone that it is God who shows up in order to do what He wants.

making peace with your father- podcast

A father's day message of hope and grace

the blessings keep coming- podcast

God blesses us from the beginning through the new beginning through...ever

Loving Your Neighbor: Capital Investment- podcast

Third part of our "Loving Your Neighbor" series. "Capital" is what we have to invest in our neighbor. Author, Mike Breen, speaks of 5 capitals. What are they?

Loving Your Neighbor: Person of Peace- podcast

Second in a series on loving our neighbor. This week we consider the way Jesus designed for us to connect with others: The person of peace.

Loving Your Neighbor: Making a Friend- podcast

You choose who your neighbor is going to be. Make a friend...First in the series on "Loving Your Neighbor."

Abide: Living How We are Wired- podcast

From John 15, we see how we are wired to live according tho God's ways, and the Holy Spirit makes it possible.

Faith 5: Prayer- podcast

Listen to Kjell Austad preach on Faith 5: Prayer as part of our Faith 5 series.

Character is Non-Negotiable- Podcast

Looking at the topic of "character." Thanks to the Wayfarer guys for your session in "Elemental" for background.

Faith Five:Blessing- podcast

The last of a series on faith practices. Blessing is how God transforms us to be an influence on the transformation of others.

Faith Five:Read- Easter podcast!

"Faith comes through hearing." Well, "Christ is risen!" sounds pretty good to me.
Blessed Easter!!

Faith Five:Share- podcast

Sharing life together connects us at all levels when we listen...What does God say about this?

The Temptation of Affirmation- podcast

A three week series based on "Live Fast," by Wayfarers ministry. Satan
uses three types of temptation on Jesus. Not any different for us.
This week we look at the final temptation, the desire for "Affirmation."

The Temptation of Ambition- podcast

A three week series based on "Live Fast," by Wayfarers ministry. Satan
uses three types of temptation on Jesus. Not any different for us.
This week we look at the subtle competitions in our lives. "Ambition."

The Temptation of Appetite- podcast

A three week series based on "Live Fast," by Wayfarers ministry. Satan uses three types of temptation on Jesus. Not any different for us. This week we look at the physical, "Appetite."

"Stretch Marks"...podcast

Sermon Jan 29 2012 by Pastor Dana Listen on Posterous

When you follow Jesus and open yourself to His leading, He will certainly stretch you and take you to places you never thought you would go.

Living In Unity Is Possible...podcast

Sermon Jan 22 2012 by Pastor Dana Listen on Posterous

Acts 14:1-4 inspires a message of hope on Martin Luther King Jr. weekend.

Everyone Has a Story....podcast

Sermon January 15 2012 by Pastor Dana Listen on Posterous

For some, we can't remember when we didn't know Jesus. For others, He 
rescued us out of the middle of our brokenness. The story continues...

Living in Unity is Possible...podcast

Sermon Jan 22 2012 by Pastor Dana Listen on Posterous

Acts 14:1-4 gives a message of hope on this Martin Luther King Jr. weekend.

Instead of Changing the Baby, The Baby Changes You!- podcast

The painting, "Saint Joseph and the Infant Christ," by Baciccio, tells a story of transformation available for all.

Sermon January 8 2012 by Pastor Dana Listen on Posterous

Can a Happy New Year Be Happy?- podcast

Sermon January 01 2012 by Pastor Dana Listen on Posterous

A practical New Year sermon on how happiness is biblical and possible!

Christmas is God's Story- podcast

Sermon December 25 2011 - Christmas Day.mp3 Listen on Posterous

Christmas Day sermon

The Greatest Light in The Universe- Christmas Eve podcast

Sermon Dec 24 2011 - Late Service (1).mp3 Listen on Posterous

The light of Jesus shining through you is unstoppable!

A Battle on The Golf Course?

We show up at the first tee, getting ready to spend a great day together. I am playing golf with David and our friend, Kevin. We are walking the course, rather than taking carts, when there we are on the first tee and a guy comes rolling up in a cart. 

For non-golfers, if you don't have four people in your group, they will add more people. You end up playing with strangers quite frequently. It's usually great for an extrovert like myself. Well, it's an older gentleman, we'll call him, "James." He introduces himself to me and then walks up to the boys at the tee.

"Hi, I'm James. I'm 88 years old and this is the first f-ing year I have to take one of these f-ing carts."

I'm thinking, "Whoa, hold on there, gramps, we don't need the "F" bombs dropping because you, somehow, think this is necessary to connect to these young men." 

Instead, I take David aside, and say, "I'll find an opportunity very quickly to nip that talk in the bud." 

Then, David tees off, and doesn't hit it that well. 

"Son, let me tell you something my teacher, Ben Hogan, taught me. Watch the club hit the ball."

Here we go. Now, one of the sacred rules of golf is you don't give advise unless you are asked, in particular if you are a stranger. Then dropping the "Ben Hogan" line, one of the most famous golfers and teachers of the game, ever, well kind of a bragging thing for James to offer right off the bat, but at least intriguing. And James could hit the ball, well. Amazing, really for his age.I think I'm gonna get the chance to at least ask him something about Hogan during the next 4 hours, and maybe ask him for a few pointers.

David and I are walking down the fairway now, and he looks at me with this "who the heck is this guy look" and I say,

"David, think about it. Your 88 years old, you're still a really good golfer, and you show up in the middle of the morning to play alone. This dude must have burnt a lot of bridges over the years. We probably haven't seen anything, yet." 

I didn't realize how quickly that prediction will come true. On the third hole, after we had putted out, James jumps in his cart and says, "O.K. fellows, I 'll see you later," and that was it.

I looked at the guys and said, "Huh?" It's not as if we were playing bad; actually we were playing pretty good.

Then, Kevin tells us why James might have left.

It seems James and Kevin were having their own conversation as they were coming down the fairway. James asked Kevin how old he was. Kevin told him he was 21. Then Kevin tells us, James says this:

"When I was your age I was haivng a good time on Omaha Beach."

Kevin says, " O ya, is it a nice place?"

(Now, let's pause here.  "Omaha Beach" doesn't necessarily register with younger folks, especially if they haven't had a history class for awhile. For me and those older than me, of course, we would instantly know what James meant.)

James says in a huff, "No, it wasn't a nice place. If it hadn't been for guys like me, you wouldn't be here enjoying your freedom right now."

Kevin doesn't know what to say to this. So he replies.

"Look, I'm just here to have fun and play some golf."

After hearing this story from Kevin, David and I goofed on him, for a little while. After all, I know pretty much all there is to know about D-Day and the Normany Invasion. Actually, as a child, it was a little confusing, because I thought "D-Day" was short for "Dana Day." You see, my birthday is, you guessed it, June 6th!

For David the situation is also a "no-brainer." He went through four years of NJROTC, and is actually excellent at military history. But, we weren't too hard on Kevin.

Here is what I know. First of all, James probably set Kevin up with the whole "Omaha Beach" thing. Why did he have to bring this up, out of the blue? Might have been similar to dropping the "Ben Hogan" line. To tell you the truth, many veterans I have known over the years don't want to talk at all about their service. Especially, the battles and bloodshed. If one does speak of this, that's fine, but be gracious enough to cut the kid a little slack.

Come to think of it, Kevin's dad, my good friend, Ray, served in Vietnam, and my hunch is he didn't get the same type of response as Joe did when he came home. I'm just saying...

Kevin handled the situation admirably, as he could have responded in a lot of different ways. So, let me do the same.

James, whoever you are, and wherever you are, I am going to cast this situation in the best of light and assume, you simply were in more of a hurry than us and didn't want to wait for three walkers to play the round with you, as you had a cart. If you jumped ahead of us because you were perturbed, however, well, that has way more to do with you, than anything else. God bless you, my friend. 

 

 

 

Angel Calling- podcast

Sermon Dec 18 2011.mp3 Listen on Posterous

Mary receives a visit and a calling...

Line Cutter

David and I spent the day at the Rose Bowl yesterday. Spur of the moment decision. Figured it's time the boys experienced a Badger game live. Greg had to work, so David and I went by ourselves.

Here's how it works for a Meyers Briggs NP. Decide to go to the game at 1:15. Game starts at 2. Called Kristina at her home in Burbank and asked her to drop us off. No $40 parking. Jumped in the car and drove to Burbank.

"David, you drive while I surf Stubhub." It's 1:45 and two seats on Wisconsin side by the end zone are going for half price. 200 tickets left, so hit buy. Got 'em.

Arrive at Sean and Kris's, 1:50. Hit Pasadena at 2. Jump on shuttle, see on ESPN app- Wisconsin scores!

Make it to the front gate, find StubHub will call, and we are in our seats by 9 minutes in the 1st quarter. Won't say much about the game (we lost), but at least David got to experience his first Badger Rose Bowl (my 3rd Wis. RB live). We got to "jump around" after the 3rd quarter. Badger fans know what I am talking about. Actually, I jumped up and down with my feet firmly planted.

"Dad, don't jump, you'll fall!"

Got to listen to your kid, once in awhile.

Well, games over and we get into line to take the shuttle bus. About 40 minute wait, and then back to Old Town where Kristina picks us up curbside.

A great day with my boy...Not every boy had that experience.

Some people cut into our "cattle line," as we are waiting for the bus. Shouts of "Line cutters!" filled the air. The worst "cutter" is a dad, with two young boys. People are screaming at the guy, he's cussing back, and David and I are the audience of this debacle in fatherhood.

The two sons have their eyes down in shame. One of them, at one point, actually tries to get dad to leave line. Dad's face is beet red, and he's not moving.

David turns to me and says, "There's a man unhappy with his life."

Yep, but not as unhappy as those two boys who have this moral giant guiding them. Hopefully, this will go down as a "not gonna be like my dad in that category" moment for the sons.

One can only hope...

Is Marriage on the Way Out? Not With Our Baby Girl!

Here we go again. Another report of the decline of marriage. Only 51 percent of Americans adults 18 or older are married. This is different than the 72% in 1960. A sharp decline, but is that the whole picture? Let's see.

70% of adults are married now or have been at some time. 

86% of single adults say they want to be married someday.

What about daughters, age 22?

Well, one left the 86% who want to be married someday. Kristina was married Saturday to Sean Herman. A great guy and at least she gets to keep her last initial the same. 

Congratulations to Sean and Kristina with all our love...

Dad

God is for Everyone!- podcast

The "third Pentecost" as the Gentiles receive the Holy Spirit. A sermon based on Acts 10:9-48.

God_is_for_Everyone-_podcast.m4a Listen on Posterous

He Knows Your Name- Podcast

God is not far from those who seek him. A sermon based on Acts 10:1-8.

You Shall Not Pass!!

Despicable. 

Oh, we watch skinned knees and broken hearts from a bit of distance. It hurts us to the core to see our precious sons and daughters suffer, but we realize there are times it is part of growing in character and confidence that we allow them to stretch in their lives and relationships. But, when it comes to our children's souls, the core of who they are, a father protects his sons and daughters from all evil. Whatever threatens their very souls, the core of who they are, a loving father stands like Gandolf, and cries out,

"You shall not pass!"

This is not just the role of dad.

Any man worth his Y chromosomes is going to be father protector in the extened family.

Older brother.

Grandpa.

Uncle.

And any man who is given the privilege of spending time in a father's role in someone else's son's or daughter's life, the echo against evil remains.

"You shall not pass!"

Friend.

Babysitter.

Teacher.

COACH...

 

"Deliver us from evil."

Any man worth being called a man, answers to the call:

"Deliverer!"

Evil? Horror?

"You shall not pass!"

My fingers are burning right now. I don't want to short out your screens while you are reading this, so I will finish.

Fathers...Protectors...

Men...

These are our sons and daughters...

 

evil one...

and those who would follow your vile touch on their own lives...

...In the name of God,

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!

Practical Actions on Living the Life- podcast

How does the model of Jesus inform my actions?

Confirmation Sunday 2011

Live_the_Life.m4a Listen on Posterous

Where's Dad??

Sharing your faith with your son is not complicated. It doesn't take huge quantities of time. Sharing your faith with your son is about frequency and consistency. 

Even before we begin with the process, however, we need to understand a huge error in thinking for many fathers, that is based on the poor teaching and modeling they received, in particular in American culture. It's kind of like our dirty little secret. Here is the formula.

Spiritual= Women

Let me be more specific and say fathers in American society who identify as "Christian," fall into this trap all the time. These dads (you, who are reading this right now, may be one of them ) pray, pray at meals, acknowledge faith in Jesus, may participate in some faith practices at home, and may occasionally attend church activities. Yet, even among these dads, nurturing the faith of their children is considered mom's responsibility. 

If there are any faith practices in the home they are almost always initiated and led my mom. Bedtime prayers- mom-led. On the rare occasion that children are brought to church activities (4% of people in their 20's/ 15% of people in their 30's are regularly connected to faith communities, today in America), they are most often brought by their mothers alone. 

If you are an active part of a Christian community you have seen "spiritual widows"- women who are active in a church community without their husbands, carrying out their faith nurturing role alone. On the one hand, you admire their efforts, on the other, you ask yourself, "Where's dad?"

Getting Ready to Change the World- podcast

Paul's preparation.m4a Listen on Posterous

Paul is one of the greatest figures in world history whose influence transformed the globe. How did he begin the process? A sermon based on Acts 9.

Jesus and Paul: World-changers- podcast

Saul's Conversion- A sermon based on Acts 9

Blinded_by_the_Light...podcast.m4a Listen on Posterous

10 Calories Make Me a Man?

Dr Pepper was first sold in 1885, one year earlier than Coca Cola. Like similar drinks, it was originally marketed as a brain tonic and energy drink, first served at a drug store in Waco, Texas. Touting 23 different ingredients, one of them always rumored to be prune juice.

Well, like all products these days, Dr Pepper has to have variety. There are nine Dr Pepper drinks currently being sold in the United States. The latest version is “Dr Pepper 10.” “Ten Bold Calories” it says right on the 16 ounce plastic bottle. Except that it is ten calories per 8 ounce serving, so the honest name ought to be “Dr Pepper 20.” Or “Dr Pepper 15” for a 12 ounce can. But, I digress.

Dr Pepper 10 is being marketed as a “man’s drink.” “It’s only 10 manly calories, but with all 23 flavors of Dr Pepper.“ Apparently, Diet Dr Pepper doesn't have all the ingredients, besides just not having corn syrup for a sweetner? But, “it’s what guys want.”  O.K., I’m getting thirsty just thinking about this. It makes me want to punch somebody in the gut. I didn’t realize I was such a wuss for drinking Diet Dr Pepper, which I actually like, but with those extra calories, I can finally own up to my manhood. 

“Dr Pepper 10. It’s not for women.”

This is this the world our sons are born into. With so much emphasis on the equality of the sexes, and all the “trans,” as it were: -vestite,  -sexual, -gender, in my lifetime, we have finally found the distinct difference: 10 calories. 

Except, we fathers create the reality of what it means to be a man with our sons. Imitation being as strong as it is, there are alternatives.

Smoking cigars, drinking beer, and watching MMA? Nope, mom can do this to. 

How about treating our wives as precious? This is a good place to start. A real manly man adores his wife and makes no qualms about it.

Why?

How?

Friday.

 

Getting the Message Out to the Frontier- podcast

getting the message to the frontier.m4a Listen on Posterous

In Acts 8:4-25, we see how Philip brings the message of good news to enemy territory and it sticks! The Samaritans are open to receive...

God Doesn't Eat Linguini

This is bizarre. I am watching ESPN Sports Center Monday morning and they have a segment that is taped in the Raiders locker room after the game Sunday. Let me set the scene. 

Al Davis died over the weekend, and for the Raiders, the game against the Texans is seen as the classic “win one for the Gipper” scenario. Someone beloved dies and the football team goes out and plays their hearts out in honor of the deceased. Well, the Raiders did just that. They won a close game. They followed their coaches instructions to “win one for Al.”  So, why is this so strange?

It’s not the game itself, but the locker room team meeting afterward. The players are surrounding the coach, Hue Jackson, who is teary-eyed and emotionally spent. Jackson says, “Let’s have a moment of silence.” The players are all bowing their heads in prayer. Except this moment of silence isn’t a moment of silence, because Jackson immediately starts talking! What does he say? A prayer. Nothing unusual about this, except he begins praying to Al Davis!

He proceeds to tell Al that they miss him and they won the game for him, and such. The players surrounding him are still in prayer mode as Jackson gives his tribute to his boss and hero, all in the form of a prayer.

Two things.

1. A moment of silence, the politically correct term we use now for prayer, well, if you invoke it, then be silent.

2. Don’t pray to Al Davis. Pray to God about Al Davis. Don’t pray to Al Davis because he is not God. He was a great football mind. A great innovator. But, he is not the Almighty. I know this, because I met Al Davis. 

He was eating alone at the table next to us in Matteo's in LA, back in the 80’s. Dining alone on a Sunday night after a Raider’s game. Wrinkled old clothes and wearing the patented Raider’s jacket. Mr. Davis seemed sad and lonely, but I won’t speculate. 

What I do know is God is a non-physical being, and as such, does not eat food. This is why I am confident that Al Davis is not God. God does not eat pasta and that is what Al is dining on that night!

Heartfelt sentiment Coach Jackson, but let’s remember who really is the Big Coach in the Sky shall we?

God Is Always Ahead of Us as He Uses Us to Expand His KIngdom- podcast

missional community.m4a Listen on Posterous

In Acts 8, we see how God uses the persecution of believers to spread the good news beyond Jerusalem, into Judea, and even beyond into hostile territory, Samaria. The Christians don't go alone. They go together in the power of the Holy Spirit, mainly organized into extended families, or oikos, as Scripture records. What might oikos look like today? We don't have to ask, it's already happening...

Time: The Critical Investment Every Father Needs to Make: #4-Toddlers: Part 4- Turn off the camera!

It never really stops with the kids!

How much time do you spend electronically recording your son's life?

I have an HD video camera on my phone. Also takes beautiful digital photos. Chances are, you have the same capabilities on your phone. I also have a thin HD video camera, about the size of a credit card, and waterproof. Great for video and photos at the beach and underwater snorkeling. Obviously, no film, no cassette; only a micro SD card. 

Now, when our kids were little, Nancy had a big Canon camera with special lenses and real 35 mm film. When Kristina was born, I had a VHS video camera that needed to be rested on my shoulder with the cassette player in a separate bag. Later, with the boys, I had a micro-cassette recorder. Still heavy, but I didn't need to be lugging around an extra 4 pounds!

Today, we have tons of photo albums sitting around in various storage areas around the house. Just looked through them. I do that every couple of years. Also, we have bags of cassettes, both VHS, micro-cassette, and DV cassettes. I have no idea what is on all of those. Want to transfer them someday.  

I think of all the time I could have spent behind the view finder of those cameras long ago, and I realize now that I am fortunate the video cameras were cumbersome, and with the film cameras, you had to be judicious with your photos because you actually could run out of film, along with the fact that  you had to have the film developed! But, I really wasn't good at taking pictures and movies anyway. My loud running commentaries are funny in small doses, but get a bit obnoxious after awhile. Having an extrovert behind the viewfinder is always a video challenge. With still photos, my hands always shake, so the best pictures are from Nancy anyway. She is an excellent photographer. 

Here's the thing. Dads, today I realize how tempting it is to spend your whole time filming your little guy because he is just about the cutest, most talented child on the planet. With today's technology, you can take as many photos, and shoot as much video footage, as you want. Actually unlimited access.  So, here are a few reminders.

1. You don't want your son growing up and imprinting on you with a camera in front of your face. If this gets burned into his brain circuitry, he will have a father who is half man/ half camera. No one wants to be raised by a cyborg...yet. So, make sure you frequently give it a rest.

2. I will look at your photos from time to time, but I can take about 30 seconds of your videos. Don't think you are doing me a favor recording your son's whole life for my sake, or for the sake of others (OK, a bit more for grandparents).

3. When you are actively playing, you can't take photos and videos anyway. Does you son want action time with daddy or does he want to hear, “Ready...Action!”?

4. Your son really does exist and he really is living his life, whether you are recording it or not.

5. Video and photography are not a substitute for a father actually practicing some parenting once in a while. Yes, dad, you know who you are!

6. The precedent is set from the beginning. When your son is performing or competing in an event, let your pure joy come out by just giving your whole attention as a member of the audience or a spectator. Again, once in awhile, give the camera a rest.

Please Support Me in My Walk To End Poverty!

I am walking this Saturday, October 8th, for the LSS Community Care Center Walk To End Poverty! Go here for more information and to sponsor me. Thank you!

"Blackberry Bush Course: God the Father"

A Blackberry bush is a great metaphor for the entanglements of our lives. It's growth is rapid and eventually it seems out of control. If you are in the middle of it, no one comes out unscathed. On the Blackberry Bush Course, we discover a new way to live life. We search together to discover how God can set us free.

 All are invited to experience this freedom!

 When: Thursday Nights, beginning October 6th

6-8 p.m. Dinner included.

Where: The Hanson's (Dana and Nancy)

October 6

Session One: Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?

October 13

Session Two: Why is It So Hard to Get Good at Praying?

(This course is developed by Dave Housholder, author, pastor, and radio personality on "The Bottom Line with Roger Marsh & Dave Householder," Monday-Friday 3-5 p.m. on KBRT AM740. Have a listen!)

A Memorable Birthday

Greg and David just celebrated their 20^th birthday yesterday. We started Saturday night at Cheesecake Factory, and then back home for cake. Every year, more candles (thank you, Captain Obvious), and with twins, 20 makes 40 (thank you, Captain Arithmetic).

Sunday, the official day, the boys wake up and we exchange hugs and happy birthdays.  Then we recall the morning of their 18^th birthday. Memorable for two reasons...

The first thing we remember is that I wake up before everyone else, and go to the gym. After working out, I get in my Ford Explorer. There is a BMW rich man’s car parked next to me. It is half parked next to my spot and half in the spot behind him. So, when I pull out and turn right, I cut it too close and clip his front bumper!

Not a scratch on the Explorer, of course, but there is a small dent in the front panel of the Beemer. I leave a note on his car.

“People are watching me write this and they think I am leaving you my personal information. But, actually I am writing to say that’s what you get for taking up two spots for your fancy car.”

Only kidding. I tell the owner to go visit the front desk.

So, it’s back to the gym, giving the guy at the front desk all my information. There is actually a prewritten form for just this situation. What did I learn? Two things.

1.  My driving skills are suspect when I can get in an accident from a dead stop in a parking lot.

2. When you are driving an 80/ 90K car, your front bumper getting dinged costs more than 10K to fix. I know, because I saw our insurance premiums go up after that. Now it’s been two years, so I think we are back to normal. 

The second memorable thing for the boys about their 18^th birthday, is when I greeted Greg with a punch in the sternum. He looks at me with his “what the heck” stare. I say one word.

“Misdemeanor.”

As in, “You have just turned 18 and now if I hit you it will no longer be felony child abuse, but only a misdemeanor.”

We laugh about this, but I really don’t hit my kids. Really. Do not take this as evidence that I strike the boys. Actually, they used to hit me once in a while. Parental abuse. But, it was only in the arm because they are playing that stupid “Slug Bug” game. You know where you punch someone in the arm when you see a Volkswagen Beetle.  “Slug Bug yellow!”

We don’t play this anymore because when I stopped participating, I was getting hit all the time. That’s a perfect game for sons to play with their father. They get to hit you, knowing you won’t hit them back. I guess it’s a good substitute for patricide, but I don’t want any part of it. It’s time to stop.

Instead of hitting them myself to make them stop, I give them my “mean dad” Bruce Willis-scowl. This proves sufficient. No more “Slug Bug” as far as I am concerned. But, there might come a day when I resurrect the game, if only once. I’ll scream, “Slug Bug blue!” and haul off and coldcock one of them.

That’ll teach ‘em...

(Now, really, you know I am not going to do this, right? I don't hit the boys nor advocate this kind of violent behavior.)

 

Time: The Critical Investment Every Father Needs to Make: #4-Toddlers: Part 3 Too much Adult?

What is your biggest dream for your son? 

For most of human history, the future of sons was usually connected to their fathers. At around age 12, a boy began to apprentice in a trade with his father. If dad was a farmer, the son was a farmer. Dad is a carpenter, the son is a carpenter. You get the picture.

The biggest dream of any father was that his son would take his work to the next level. Farm more land or get a greater return on the crops. Expand the family business.

There were always exceptions to this practice of sons apprenticing with their fathers, but most often dads simply dreamed of their sons being a bigger and better version of themselves. Not so anymore.

With the industrial revolution, work becomes more than farming and trade. Factory work, and the entire infrastructure to make manufacturing possible, is not a place for apprentices. Sons certainly could follow their dads doing the same work, but not working alongside from the beginning.

Dads begin to have other dreams for their sons. In fact, a common dream for fathers becomes one of hoping their sons don’t follow in their footsteps, but make more out of their lives than what they did. This is often the case today. Sons are encouraged to do better in school, including making sure to go to college, or the “right” college.

Another twist to the "son doing better than dad" story is in leisure activities. Fathers work with their sons from toddler on in some sport or some hobby that dad was involved in, or wishes he had been involved in. Go to any park in America on any Saturday (or more recently, Sunday, and weekday nights for practice) and see this firsthand. Sports, from four/five year olds on, has become an American phenomenon. 

This becomes the classic scenario of dad working with his 3-year-old son to hit that golf ball, throw that baseball, kick that soccer ball, “better” than the other 3-year-old. Of course, there is always a price to pay. 

Living under constant supervision by adults is not the same as apprenticeship. Sons aren’t learning alongside their dads, as much as being observed and subconsciously graded by their dads as to how advanced they are compared to other sons their age. And creativity and imagination don’t function well when your childhood time is constantly spent under the supervision of adults. Even “creative” playtime is often overseen and structured by adults! Obviously the advent of the preschool movement becomes an influencing factor in all of this for younger children.

 Also, consider the whole concept of leadership development.  It’s difficult for sons to lead anything when dads are in charge of the activity. It is a challenge to see any son naturally rise to leadership when every step of the way adults are stressing concepts like "fairness" and “everybody gets their turn.” 

While these are certainly admirable rules to live by, the way they are interpreted, again, by adults, makes it difficult for kids to practice leadership. Interesting, at the same time, there is often talk of a leadership vacuum in our younger generations. Well, where would anyone learn leadership in today’s adult- controlling environment? 

Now, in all of this, who doesn’t instinctually know there is room for change here? Who doesn’t say or think at one time of another, “It’s hard for kids to just be kids anymore”? Quickly though, even this sentiment will disappear as children raised in this environment are now raising their own children in this environment. I'm afraid we will not know a time when the world of adult supervision was not the norm. 

 

Time: The Critical Investment Every Father Needs to Make: #4-Toddlers: Part 2 Your Son as Neighbor

Number Two:

The Bible says, "Love your neighbor as yourself." This does not mean, "Try to change your neighbor into you." Yes, you want others to imitate you as you imitate Christ, but that doesn't mean being you. With our sons this is a huge temptation. 

The greatest resource on relationships I know is the New Testament of the Bible. Especially the teachings of how the followers of Jesus are to treat each other. There isn't much specific father/son relationship teaching, but there is plenty about how to get along in community. How you treat your "neighbor." The model of how Jesus lives is key in all of this.  What would it mean to treat our sons the way Jesus would treat our sons if he were us?

The Bible teaches that our natural human desire is to be at the center of our own universe where high levels of control and manipulation take place. Using aggression or withdrawing our love and acceptance are the normal ways we deal with conflict/disagreement. This attack or withdrawal becomes the model our sons will see us use, especially with our wives, or they will experience our attack or withdrawal directly.

The Bible speaks of another way. When the Holy Spirit dwells in us as he did in Jesus, we have access to the same "fuel for living" that Jesus possessed: Grace. The pure love of God the Father. 

With this supernatural power available, we begin to model the way Jesus lived in community.  Tons of graciousness, unusual amounts of patience, and wide boundaries of acceptance, become the norm for us. On a practical level, what does this look like? Some examples.

Example: Apologizing and admitting we were wrong.

Dad: "I'm sorry. I was wrong."

Example: At age appropriate times, showing some of our own vulnerability.

Dad: "I was (am) scared, too, sometime. Then I thought (think) about God's angels protecting me and I was (am) O.K."

Example: You don't have to know everything.

Dad: "I don't know. Why don't you ask mom?" (This is supernatural influence we are talking here, isn't it?)

Time: The Critical Investment Every Father Needs to Make: #4-Toddlers: 4.1: Don't Try to Play Make Up

Your son is now at an age when he is mobile and he is curious. This is also the age when you can get him away to explore on your own. “Mom trust” kicks in a bit more, she gives you a “boys” pass, and it is time to let the fun begin! You have prepared for this day since before he was born and now…

Hold on! Time for a little self-inventory:

1. Are you going to try to give your son the focus you did not receive from your own dad?

2. Are you going to try to create a mini-me whose interests directly mimic your own?

3. Do you have dreams of this little bundle of joy being in the NBA, on the PGA, or going to Stanford for a PhD?

4. Do you keep upgrading your video and photo capabilities with new hardware and software, renewing like yesterday's magazine subscriptions?

Stop.

Look.

Listen.

1. Are you going to try to give your son the focus you did not receive from your own dad?

Memory research is showing us that our memories are selective at best. In fact, the latest studies are showing us that we remember more clearly the things we think about the least. The more we play those “tapes” from our past, the more reality and perception clash. You are not your father and your son is not you, neither now, nor when you were a little boy. So relax, take a deep breath and repeat after me:

“My son is a unique child of God. There has never been anyone quite like him, and there will never be anyone quite like him, ever."

 

and, repeat after me:

"I am a unique father for my son. There has never been a father quite like me for him and there will never be a father quite like me for him, ever."

Now, doesn’t that make you feel better? Isn't that good to know? You can imitate the best of what you can remember from your own father/son relationship, imitate solid fathers you have known or know now, and learn from fatherhood resources (like this blog!), which will help along the way.

 

 

Sermon for 9/11- podcast

We are studying Acts 7, and the stoning of Stephen. Only the true God can fuel a "no revenge" clause in our covenant together. 

Sermon_Sept_11_2011.mp3 Listen on Posterous

Time: The Critical Investment Every Father Needs to Make- #3 Infancy

The relationship between a dad and his son is the original, “old school” male bonding experience. This is a very simple truth that is often overlooked. Having an active father in a baby’s life provides a strong environment for healthy growth in all arenas. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, however you look at it, when dads are there, it is like fertilizer for a healthy life. There is no in vitro substitute for the influence a father brings.

This is not just about a dad and his son; it is about mom, too! It may “take a village to raise a child,” but the village begins with having your husband by your side, and covering your back. When I hear someone say, “Children don’t need a father in their lives,” I know this statement is not coming from a dad or from a mom who has raised kids with a dad.

If this simply means “It is possible to raise children without a father,” then, obviously this is true. The same goes for a mom. From a possibility perspective, “Children don’t need a mother in their lives,” is equally true. We just never hear this.

Practically, sharing in the tasks of raising an infant brings husbands and wives closer together. It isn't healthy to project all our needs for encouragement, joy and affirmation onto one person. Human relationships flourish as we join together with others for a common purpose. We can share work, share interests and hobbies, raise pets, and such, yet raising a child becomes the most primal, instinctual place for growth. Our capacity as men and women expands as we raise children together.

Now, dads, this doesn't mean you have to get all weird on me. I don't want to see any breast feeding apparatus like Robert De Niro, as Jack Byrnes, in Meet the Fockers (2004)! Yet, sharing in those basic infant care tasks has a ton of psychological and emotional influence, for you and your son. Here are some examples:

Holding your son closely and watching him drink from his bottle is about as close as you will ever get to seeing pure peace.

Sharing in soothing your son during nighttime fussing is not just for the sake of relieving your wife's sleep deprivation; your son is learning that you are there to bring security into his life, as well.

Changing diapers may have been a bit too much for some of our fathers to handle, but we step up. Because it is the politically correct thing to do? No, because we learn so much in this simple action. We learn that if we can take crap from our sons at an early age, we can take crap from them later! One of those lessons in "unconditional love," let's just say. O, and remember to have another diaper handy to throw over him just in case...

Taking a nap with your son lying on your chest is a great excuse to get some rest, and your son can get used to the rhythm of your heart, as he has his mom's for so much time in the womb. An added bonus is, while you are snoring because you are sleeping on your back, she won't poke you. Instead, she's thinking, "Isn't that precious..." Saw away, boys!

Now is the time to sing, pray, and give blessing to your son each night. Faith is not a "woman's thing." A habit formed from the beginning like this will have huge dividends as he grows older. Both for him and for you (I will spend a whole chapter on the topic of spiritually nurturing your son).

Yes, spending lots of time with your infant son is as much about you bonding with him as it is he bonding with you. I can't help but think of those old film clips I saw when studying Psychology, of ethologist (study of animal behavior), Konrad Lorenz, walking with geese following him. He is showing an example of "Imprinting" ("in which a young animal acquires several of its behavioral characteristics from its parent.")

Your son is not a goose, he isn't your clone, but as a dad, you have to realize how the time investment you make from day one will significantly increase the effectiveness of your influence in the coming years. Your journey has just begun. Honk! Honk!

Time: The Critical Investment Every Father Needs to Make #2: The Myth of Quality Time

Speaking of the decline in time spent by fathers with their sons in my last post, let's look at what takes place with mothers and daughters in America, only beginning much later. Daughters, who spent their lives “apprenticing” with their moms at home, were now seeing more and more of their moms entering the workplace. This shift begins during the depression, grows during WWII, with women flocking into the factories (“Rosie the Riverter”), and then continues in the post-WWII years.

For many moms this was an economic decision. In particular, lower income families didn’t have the option of mom “staying at home.” Yet with the post-war economic boom for higher economic families, staying at home becomes a choice, as well.

For many, a mom working becomes, not so much a sign of economic necessity, but a cry for freedom and liberation from the grinds of being a “housewife.” It was about being free to be your own person, and this message was usually given by those who self-identified as “Feminists.” Working outside of the home becomes a badge of honor; a statement of liberation.

So, let me see? When fathers started spending less time with their children, especially their sons, we didn’t even blink. But, take mom out of the home…Watch out!

I remember the backlash.

“A woman’s place is in the home…”

“Letting preschool/daycare raise your kids...”

“Latchkey kids...”

Yes, there is virtual silence in popular culture with the decline of father/son time, but when mom starts “doing her own thing,” she hears about it! So, what is a mother to do? The feminists tried to come to the rescue, but their message wasn’t always helpful when it comes to time. Not helpful for sons or daughters.

You see, right about this same time, a new term was coined, “Quality time.” The earliest we see this in print is in an article from the Maryland newspaper, The Capital, January, 1973.

The major goal of each of these role changes is to give a woman time to herself, Ms. Burton explained. "A woman's right and responsibility is to be self fulfilling," she said. She gives "quality time" rather than "quantity time" to each task, whether it be writing, cleaning the house or tending the children.

“Quality time” doesn’t take into consideration how learning takes place. The assumption is that intense focused time with your child is going to be as influential as “Quantity time,” perhaps thought of as “large amounts of time simply being present with your child in an unstructured, unfocused way.”

Even thinking this way you realize how this advice is easily misguided. First of all, the more time spent with someone the more opportunities there is to learn from imitation. Remember, what I said earlier? Imitation is just as important a learning tool as information. A son has always learned more than a trade or skills in living life with his father. Spending time with his father is a primary “classroom” for what it means to be a man.

Second, who is to say that by spending lots of time with your son is always unstructured and unfocused, and even if it is, who is to say that this is, necessarily, a bad thing? Unstructured, unfocused time can be the source of some real connection, can’t it? Just “hanging out with your dad” doesn’t sound so bad, does it?

Actually, even for a “quality time” advocate, if you intentionally seek to be more attentive to your son during “quantity time,” you have just given them more thorough “quality time”, anyway! Then, it is time to feel guilty, once again!

There is at least one thing we do learn from the concept of “quality time” that is helpful for fathers, however. Intentionally scheduling time to be with your son. Throughout their childhood, dads can learn to schedule activities, both structured and unstructured to invest time in their sons. Next we look at what this might mean at different stages in the life of dads and sons.

Time: The Critical Investment Every Father Needs to Make #1: Know Your Past

“Man, that hurts! But it’s so good…”

If you consider the food patterns of American culture, pizza is a “hot” commodity. According to a recent Gallup poll, pizza is preferred over all other food for lunch and dinner, in children ages 3-11. I know that was the case for our family growing up.

Pizza was not something we would eat frequently. Maybe that’s why I can still taste the pizza from Dino’s or Derango’s as I am writing these words. A distinct fennel flavor is slowing creeping into my memory bank. Yet, where there is pleasure, there is always the chance for pain to show up. With pizza this was certainly the case. Allow me to explain.

We were in the funeral business. In the funeral business you work days and nights. You have funerals, the logistics of getting ready for funerals (embalming, funeral preparations, pick-ups, dropping off obituaries at the local news room, etc.) and making arrangements with families during the day. At night you might meet with families and make arrangements, as well, if they can’t come in during the day. Also at night, you would have visitations (wakes/ showings).

Dad would frequently work both day and night. If he was working nights, this meant if he got to chance to come home at all, it would be for a quick bite to eat that you could call a “family meal.” A more accurate description would be, “family feeding.” Like throwing fish food into a tank of gold fish, when the food hit the table the frenzy would begin. 

The Hanson’s were fast eaters. “Speed-eaters.” “Hash and dash.” Usually there were four boys and dad sitting around the table, and mom in the kitchen. She brings out whatever casserole or meat and potatoes combo we would share that evening, a quick prayer, and then, “Boom!” Eat away.

It is during these quick meals we were most likely to get pizza. As a treat, and as a break for our mom (I'm naturally assuming that is why my dad did it), dad would bring pizza home, hot and ready to be eaten. The four guppies would already be gathered around the table, plates ready, dad would set the pizza’s down and then, just like other meals, it was start eating as fast as you can.

Only this time, with pizza, there is a strategy. There are only a limited amount of pieces to go around. We never had leftovers.  So, when dad would bring home pizza, we really had to be on our game. And yes, with the pleasure, comes pain.

You know what it is like to eat piping hot pizza? Where it seems like the whole roof of your mouth is burned and shredded? Well, there is only a limited food supply, so you eat through the pain! No matter, how much you blow on the cheese and sausage, there is going to be a reckoning.

“Ouch!” 

“Mmmmm…”

Every last piece eaten, and dad is out the door. Can’t stop. Can’t talk. Gotta get back work. A burnt mouth becomes a throbbing metaphor of this part my family life. Just know, you are not going to see much of dad. 

As my dad worked for his dad, it isn’t a shock that he was gone a lot. Long hours and keeping a tough schedule is just what sons do when they work for their fathers, right? Gotta earn those stripes working the family business. Yet, long hours in general just seemed to be the way things were for our generation of kids. As many of us who were raised in the “Baby Boomer” generation can attest, we didn’t spend lots of time with our dads. 

Historically, you can see why sons spending time with their fathers declined. In almost all cultures, from the beginning of humanity until the beginning of the 20th century, most sons would follow their fathers in their livelihood. Interesting that surnames even indicated what your future is going to hold.

“Bill Carpenter.” “John Smith.” “Tom Undertaker?” Well, there are always exceptions!

So, this was the way of the world. Whether it was agriculture or a trade, most sons would apprentice with their fathers. This wasn’t only about life; it was about being a man. Imitation is as important a learning tool as information. Not just learning how to do work, but also learning how to do life. 

This practice of sons spending years “apprenticing” with their fathers still continues in many cultures, yet in the world of the “Industrial Age” and following, the time spent by sons with their dads declines. 

Interesting that we don’t hear much about this shift in the way life was lived when it comes to fathers and sons. Fathers are the primary model for life ( for good or bad) since the beginning of humanity, and then suddenly (at least in historical time), poof! 

Where’s dad? He’s at work!

Did you spend much time with your dad growing up? If you did, what do you remember? If you didn't what do you remember?

(Please note: I just learned of a remedy for a burnt roof of the mouth. Use sugar. Just pour a bit on the painful area and dissolve it in. It works!)

So Why Am I Writing about Fathers Raising Sons in a Healthy Way, And Why Do I Think I Have Anything to Say?

Why Fathers and Sons?

Let me tell you a story...
Within the last month I experienced two special retreats. One weekend, I was the Spiritual Director on a Prison 3-Day retreat for 18-20 year old incarcerated young men. Two weekends later, I was a teacher and chaperone for young men on a ninth grade retreat for those youth from our church ready to make a deeper faith commitment as they enter high school.
Only a couple of years separated the young men age-wise, but life experience- wise? Different planets. The one glaring contrast between the two groups was the involvement in their lives by healthy fathers and/or other male mentor(s), Light years apart.
O, a few of the guys I've spent time with in prison over the years did have dads who mentored them. Stories of how-to jack someone up and rob him, how to steal and not get caught, how to shoot up heroin, are much too common. In those cases, whatever lesson these young men did learn- the few who did have fathers around, or other older male role models- whatever the lesson, obviously the results behind bars are less than stellar.
Now, the young men on the church retreat live no sheltered life in affluent luxury with doting fathers. but what they do have is a dad or other male mentor or two connecting with them in a helpful way.
The kids themselves are similar in many ways, but their upbringing, especially when it comes to fathers, obviously makes a huge difference. While research makes the same point, spending time in prison ministry brings these statistics to life.
Fathers and sons don't deserve this.
They deserve the joy and challenge of living life as "master teacher and apprentice." I want dads, and other adult males who have an opportunity to be a mentor, to make a difference in young men's lives.
The best model for this? Ironically, someone who was not a father. The teaching and model of Jesus as to how to live your life in community. investing in others and expanding their lives in remarkable ways, that's the key. Jesus is the superior teacher and model for fathers and sons (mothers, daughters, and everyone else, too). How to be a father to a son the way that Jesus would if he were in your situation, is a crying need for dads. For the sake of their sons...for the sake of society...
For God's sake.
Why Me?
I have always been interested in mentoring youth. In my teens, I began to teach Sunday School and coach youth basketball. My undergrad degrees are in Psychology and Secondary Education. I went to graduate schooI, received my MDiv and began working as a youth pastor in 1982. By 1991,  no longer a "youth pastor," I continued to work with kids and their parents in our Church communities: Congregation, preschool, elementary school, and middle school (where my wife, Nancy, also taught), as well as in the local community as basketball coach and mentor in public schools.
Since 1992, I have done much consulting with a national youth ministry organization,Faithinkubators, in particular working on parenting and connecting parents and kids. I have also developed a relational evangelism DVD series entitled, "How To Be A Christian Without Being A Jerk!" which has a wide usage by Christian organizations teaching outreach with the next generations.  As you saw above, I serve as Spiritual Director at a local prison (California Youth Authority for 18-25 year old young men) where we lead three-day spiritual retreats as part of Epiphany Prison Ministry.

Yet, obviously, my greatest experience and interest in fathers parenting sons is raising our own sons. Nancy and I have a daughter, Kristina, 22, and twin boys, Gregory and David, 19. We have been the key adult mentors in their lives, living in the tension of being pastor, teacher, coach, and both of us volunteers in the public schools they attended, as well as mom and dad. All this without being totally enmeshed. It can be done.
As I stated in my prior launch post, I will be writing a book on fathers and daughters in this "No Jerk" series. So, Kristina, I'm not ignoring our life together, just focusing on the boys right now!
If you read what I am writing in the next several months you will make significant progress in lfie with your son(s). You will learn from the best:

• From the best teacher who ever lived- Jesus. 
• From the best of what I have experienced as a son of a father (leaving the less than helpful stuff behind).
• From the best of what I have invested in our sons (sharing my "bonehead" moments, as well), 
• From the best of my being a mentor of scores of young men over the years,
• From the best of amazing fathers with whom I have had the privilege of sharing life together. 

For God's sake...and your son's...join me every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for the latest post.

Another Lesson from Prison- podcast

Sermon September 04 2011 by Pastor Dana Listen on Posterous

God sends His people into His world and the distinction between "clergy" and "lay" people fades away. No shackles on the Holy Spirit please!  Reflecting on my most recent Epiphany Prison spiritual retreat and how it connects with Acts 6.

Hey Dad! 10 ways to Make Sure Your Son Won't Grow Up to be a Jerk!

As many of you know, I am a pastor in LA who has been blogging for over 7 years now. My main areas of interest have to do with evangelism and discipleship, in particular reaching out to the next generations and training others to do this. My blog, "How To Be A Christian Without Being A Jerk!" has been a mixture of apologetics, relational evangelism, and discipleship training, with personal lifestyle/ current event type posts interspersed. The overall vibe has been challenging us to look again at what we all "know to be true" from a different angle.
I have been using personal anecdotes and humor (yes, much self-deprecation, of course), following the filter of "sharing the compassion of Jesus with everyone; sharing the gospel with those who are receptive." All of this in, as much as possible, a "no-being-a-jerk" zone.
I have taken a few months off from blogging now, and am ready to begin again. This time however, I am trying an experiment. Here is what it looks like.
My intention has always been working on a "No Jerk" series for Christians, and not stopping at "How To Be A Christian Without Being A Jerk!" Recently, I am receiving encouragement from writer colleagues to work on another book in the series, specifically on fathers raising sons. They are challenging me to get out the wisdom I have been sharing with them and others over the last several years, and applying it to a book which deals with dads training up their sons.
The result is the book (working title), "Hey Dad! 10 Ways to Make Sure Your Son Won't Grow Up To Be A Jerk!" Through learning from mentors, and my own modeling, sharing life, and teaching my boys about being a "man" (I am not grunting as I typed that), and then working with other fathers and sons over the last three decades of ministry, I come from a strong base of parenting sons. If you have shared life with us, you know this to be true.
In the last several months, I have begun writing the book, but I need help. I need some structure and expectations to keep me moving, and so combining blogging with the writing makes sense. This will help me make progress in being more organized about the whole project, while sharing content and soliciting feedback along the way.
All of this will be written from a filter of the Christian worldview, along the same lines as my "How To Be...Jerk!" work. This certainly makes sense, because the biblical concept of discipleship is the best model out there for dads raising sons. Certainly, as with my other writing, I am paying close attention to make sure that non-Christians will discover this book to be helpful, again, if receptive.
My wife, Nancy and I have three adult children, Kristina, 22, and Gregory and David, twins of 19. I plan on writing a father/ daughter book in this same "Jerk" series, but I am starting with sons because that's where I can be of most service right now.
In the blog, together we will explore these 10 topics (or "Ways") of "jerk prevention":
- Invest lots of time in him
- Treat him as unique; not special
- Be affectionate
- Help him face his fears
- Be an honorable husband
- Be his spiritual mentor
- Have solid friendships
- Model loyalty with integrity
- Help him retire your flaws
- Model how to protect and serve
I intend to publish entries three times a week, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. You will be able to access them through my Twitter and Facebook feeds, along with my website www.danahanson.org.